Little shit that’s not important enough to each have their own rant, but still need to be said:
“all of the sudden” – It’s “all of a sudden”. No, it’s not an “either way” thing. All of the sudden is wrong.
“arms akimbo” – nothing actually wrong with this, it’s just annoying to read in a book. ‘And Bob stood there, arms akimbo.” Gah!!!
Lack of turn signal use – dude, use the fucking thing so I know that you’re going to turn or change lanes. That’s the point. It’s a common sense safety thing.
“baby” – as in, “We need clothes for baby” or “let’s take baby for a ride!”. It’s “the” baby or “our” baby, or use the kid’s name, or say son, or daughter, anything but just “baby”. Unless the kid’s name is Baby. But, that would be total douchebaggery. Like, Dirty Dancing douchebaggery.
mall oblivion – also, Walmart oblivion – it’s the tendency of people in malls and Walmarts to be completely unaware of their surroundings. They’ll block up an entire aisle or bump their cart into things and other people while they’re looking to the side or, for some odd reason, upwards. Just general obliviousness.
cultural discourtesy – I don’t care if you’re American, when you’re in another country, at least try to be respectful. Especially if you don’t know any of the language. After all, don’t you think people should speak English here? It works both ways.
use of feminine wiles – don’t ever assume I will do something for you just because you’re hot. I’m courteous in general, but when girls push up their tits or bat their eyes or try to pull that manipulative shit for a free drink or something, it’s seriously insulting to my intelligence. It’s not a turn on at all and my usual courtesy will immediately dissipate.
When someone actually lets you in on the freeway. They don’t need to be in front of you or be an asshole. They recognize that cars need to leave room for other cars to get on the freeway. It’ shouldn’t be rare, but it is.
When people actually listen to my response when they ask how I’m doing. I generally answer honestly because I figure you wouldn’t ask if you didn’t care. If you don’t care, don’t waste my time by asking.
General courtesy – when people treat each other with very simple, small forms of kindness. It doesn’t even have to happen to me. When I see other people treating other people with basic courtesy, it gives me hope.
When women take compliments or even greetings as intended. I love it when I can give a girl a simple compliment or say hello and she responds with the same basic friendliness and doesn’t assume I’m trying to put my dick into her. She knows that “Hello” is not a preface to “suck my dick”, but is simply a friendly hello. I find it insulting when I’m treated like I’m hitting on women when I’m not. I’m not a dumb lunk.
The smell of rain. The one time I like Phoenix is the way the desert smells after a rain.
When I’m driving to California and I catch my first glimpse of the ocean. Always gives me a little thrill.
A really good burger. There are tons of burgers out there but so few are truly good.
Honest feedback. Even if I’m being told something negative about myself, I am so grateful that someone actually took the time to inform me rather than just ignore it like everyone else. If you have a problem and you say nothing, then it’s your problem.
Paw on nose. When I’m petting a cat and they put their paw on my nose. So damn cute.
Random hugs. They’re nice.
© 2015 William Suphan
- One of Those Nights
- Tear Down the Wall